Accidental Man of Mystery

Doctor Who : The Roads Time Can Take

Arthur Conan Smith — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 23:09:58 +0000

The TARDIS materialises on an innocent street corner and nobody notices.
Nobody but Alison Cheney. “Is that…”
The Doctor had dropped her back off in Lannet when all the death and destruction that followed him had become too much.
“I’m sorry, guys, I’ll be right back, alright?” She puts down the glass she’s holding and doesn’t even listen to her customers’ replies as she walks out of the pub.
“That’s him, alright.” He’d promised never to come back. But there he was. The big, bold blue police box that nobody ever seemed to notice was there, standing on the corner of her street.
The doors open and he steps out– No. That is not her Doctor. This guy’s skinny, with an odd-shaped face and puffy hair and a bowtie.
He doesn’t notice her and runs off. Should she… Yes.
“Doctor!” She shouts out to him.
He stops dead in his tracks and turns around. “Yes, hello, who are you?”
“I’m Alison. Alison Cheney? You remember me.”
“You do look vaguely f– Oh. Oh! Ah. Yes.” He staggers back, like there’s something wrong.
“Doctor?”
“Yes?” He looks at her like he’s forgotten what they were talking about, until he seems to remember. “I’m sorry. I’m not.. I’m not the Doctor you know.”
“He.. you.. did tell me about regeneration.”
“Ah, did I? Hmm. This is.. even more complicated. Than that.”
She just looks at him.
“I’ve really got to..” Her eyes stare straight into his. “See, first I was him, yeah? Then, I wasn’t. And then I was never going to have been.. him. The me you know.”
“How does that..”
“Work? Beats me.”
“So how do you remember me?”
“I.. Okay, it’s like this. That Doctor.. that me.. the one you travelled with. He happened. For all intents and purposes, as far as the universe is concerned, he happened. He happened just as much as you do and I am.”
“Right. But you’re not him.”
“Never have been. I remember you and the things you did with him like I do everything. I can see every road Time can take. But it’s like reading a map. Like reading a script.”
“So none of it..”
“You happened, Alison Cheney, believe me. You were out there, with him. With the could’ve been me that wasn’t.” He grabs her by the shoulders. “Just.. not me. So I’m sorry.”
An explosion shakes the town and they look at the sky. Smoke and blue lights.
“Wanna come?” He grins.
She hesitates but grabs his hand anyway and they run. Like she could say no.

Doctor Who : Lannet, Lancashire

Arthur Conan Smith — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 22:33:31 +0000

Guide Note: Alternate ending is in the next post.

Doctor Who : Regeneration

Arthur Conan Smith — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:45:27 +0000

The TARDIS is screaming at him in his head as he steps inside. Gallifrey burns behind him. “I had to.”
The ship had defaulted back to the infinite white console room. Using up all it had just to stay alive.
The Doctor takes off his uniform and drops it into the shapeless space around the console.
He flips some switches and touches his face and his eyepatch. The holes and scars aren’t just physical.
The capsule dematerialises just as Gallifrey does. Gone forever before and after.
Tumbling through the Vortex, the ship screams silently on.
“Is it?” He looks at his hand, which is turning a pale white. “It’s Time, isn’t it?”
The Moment had broken him in every way but one. Until now. The final breaking point.
His hearts stop beating and he collapses. His bones break before they hit the floor.
The ship drops out of the Vortex and screams on as it hurdles towards a dead planet.

Doctor Who : “Will we be okay?”

Arthur Conan Smith — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:02:33 +0000

The Doctor brushed his long curls aside. “Will we be okay?”
The tall leather-clad Doctor stepped forward. “You will be.”
The War had been a losing battle. He’d been given access to the Moment, and he knew the Time was coming when he’d have to face the Could’ve Been King and his Army of Meanwhiles and Neverweres, the Nightmare Child, the whole lot, and use it.
“That’s not what I asked, though.”
“I know.”

Is this PUNCTUATION DISCRIMINATION‽

Arthur Conan Smith — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:48:24 +0000

Ladies, gentlemen, triangles and shades of blue.
This.

Is a goddamn interrobang. It is quite obviously the best and most under-used piece of punctuation on the entire goddamn planet!

(Okay, so that’s an image and not an actual interrobang, but I don’t want to risk anyone seeing a big-ass block there. Shut it.)

Point is. Why the fuck are we not using the goddamn interrobang‽

Oh, that’s right, because it’s not on any goddamn keyboards! NONE! ZERO!

This is outrageous punctuation discrimination from the world’s keyboard manufacturers, surely!

But no, it’s not just the keyboard manufacturers that’s to blame! I’m also blaming you, dear reader!

Why am I blaming you‽ Because you are not using the goddamn interrobang, are you‽ No, you’re not!

So I’m asking you nicely, now. No bold, no exclamation marks. Not even any rude words.

Just a question. A request. Between friends.

Use the interrobang. Please.

Do it for me.

Use the interrobang.

‽

King of the Worlds : The Library of Absolute Truth

Arthur Conan Smith — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:41:46 +0000

Don’t know where this goes yet. Late season five.

Welcome to the Library of Absolute Truth., the sign reads.
“Christ. Is that..”
“Yes, Lucy, that’s Comic Sans, move on.” His long hair breezes past his face as the wind moves through the opening doors.
“It’s just.. What year did you say this was?”
“12-Δ-67.”
“Twelve Delta Sixty-Seven?”
“Different reality, different calendar system, different planet, so many possible reasons.”
“Sure, sure. It’s… We’re in a different reality, and here I am, finding Comic Sans on the front door of a library. I like you and your Hallway, but I’m not sure this ain’t Hell!”

The Duck Avenger : Five Years Later

Arthur Conan Smith — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:19:49 +0000

I actually wrote a different version of yesterday’s post before I realised it wasn’t what I wanted to write for those characters at all, so, before I posted it, I replaced Donald and the nephews with a hero and his wards of my own creation.
Here’s what I wrote, anyway.

It’d been five years since Duckburg had been safe at night.Five years since the Duck Avenger retired, his original purpose now long gone.
There’d been other heroes, copy cat heroes.. But none lasted.
“Unca Donald?” The three voices spoke as one. “Why did you stop?”
“They died, boys. The reasons I started in the first place. To take my revenge on Scrooge and Gladstone.”
“But what about everything else?” “The Beagle Boys?” “The supervillains?”
“When they died they.. It made me realise that I wasn’t immortal, either. Everything was suddenly so.. real. I felt like I could lose the three of you, too. So you’re to stop immediately.”
“What?”
“I know what you’re up to, at night. ‘The One’. Very clever. But it stops tonight.”
“You can’t make us.”
“Oh yes, boys.” He takes a small gas canister from the shelf. “Yes, I can.” He weeps as he erases the minds of his beloved nephews.

The Avenger of Terrasee City : Five Years Later

Arthur Conan Smith — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 22:19:56 +0000

It’d been five years since Terrasee City had been safe at night.
Five years since the Avenger retired, his original purpose now long gone.
There’d been other heroes, copy cat heroes.. But none lasted long.
“Uncle George?” The two voices spoke as one. “Why did you stop?”
“The Shadow killed your uncle Timothy right in front of me. I cleaned blood off my costume that night and burnt it.” “But what about everything?” “The Mischievous Minstrels?” “The regular crooks?”
“I realised.. It made me realise that I wasn’t immortal. Everything was suddenly so.. real. I felt like I could lose the two of you, too. So you’re to stop immediately.”
“What?”
“I know what you’re up to, at night, the two of you. ‘The One’. Very clever. But it stops tonight.”
“You can’t make us.” “No.”
“Oh yes, boys.” He takes a small gas canister from the shelf. “Yes, I can.” He weeps as he erases the memories of his nephews.

King of the Worlds : Hibernation (another scene)

Arthur Conan Smith — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 18:05:28 +0000

“So.. how would we get back?”
“Hmm?”
“Would we have to go through the same door? What happens if somebody else uses it, etcetera.”
“Oh, to everyone else it’s just a.. regular old door. The–” He wriggles his fingers in airquotes. “–”magic”, right, isn’t in the door.”
“It’s in the key.”
“Right.”
“So.. is there a.. door for every door? Through all of time and space? That’s a bit mad. And what about doors that don’t work with a skeleton key?”
“Lots of questions, you’ve got.” He smiles.”A man once told me..”
“What? A man once told you what?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” The smile fades away. “Nothing.”
“Right. You promised me the Hundred Acre Wood, mister King, and you’re going to give it to me.”
“Number 7439.” He grins. “Shall we go?”
“Oh, we shall!”

“Wow.”
“I know.” He shuts the door behind him and they lean against the wall of the hallway.
“I know you said something about adapting to.. something something physiology, but.. Wow.”
“And Tigger!”
“Oh, that arsehole. I can never look at those books again, you know that, right?”
“Just like you imagined?”
“As close as possible, yeah. He.. Pooh!”
“I know!”

“So. What’s next?”
“What do you mean, what’s next? It’s not like we’re whizzing through some sort of.. playlist. Just pick a door.”
“The first one’s unmarked, right now.”
“Is it? Pass me the white crayon, will you?”
“Sure.” He takes it and scratches the number 62350 on the door. He hands her the key.
“Go on. Open it.”
“I will.” She grins. “You bet I will.” She opens it.

King of the Worlds : Hibernation (3 selected scenes)

Arthur Conan Smith — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:37:19 +0000

“Do I know you?” They both say it at the same time. He does, but doesn’t know it, and she doesn’t, and does.
“What’s your–”
“Name? Arthur. Arthur King.” He awkwardly fiddles with his hair.
“Weekley. Penelope Weekley.”

“Now, this’ll likely.. be really weird. So..” He takes a skeleton key from a chain around his neck.
“I’m sure I can..” He opens the door. “Jesus.”
“It’s, uhm, always been here. Since before I moved in.”
“This..” She turns away from it. “I can’t look at it. What the hell is that?”
“It’s my Hallway. It, uh, allows me to do what I do.”
“What the hell do you do that you need a fucking infinite hallway for to do?”
“Come.” He grabs her hand. “Just keep looking at the wall, you’ll be okay.”
He puts her in front of the closest door, which has the number 392 written on it in white crayon, and under it, in green, a checkmark.
“Open it.”
“You open it.”

“You have.. other worlds in your hallway?”
“Other worlds, other places, other times. The Hallway’s all over the continuum. Found a world once where the Nazis won the second World War. They were in the middle of a third before I showed up.”
“We were in London. London 2007.” She points outside. “Those are the World Trade Center towers!”
“This is the Sixties.” He says it like it explains everything.
“How far does that hallway go?”
“I don’t know. Never got to the end. Tried to, though. Nearly starved.”
“But you’ve numbered them. What’s the highest number you’ve marked and why was number 392 at the front?” She remembers to sip her coffee, which is already cold.
“I have a list. The highest number I’ve marked is 62349. 392 is the first one, now, because they switch around when you’re not looking.”
“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve found?”
“Planet of the Elvises.”
“Found any places we’d consider fictional?”
“Tons of’m.”
“So everything ever.. is real?”
“Even the Hundred Acre Wood. Could take you there.”
Her eyes light up. “You..”
“If we can find it. Off the top of my head it’s.. number 7439.”