This is the first in a series of posts (probably not) in which I read and take notes on the Bible. I’m not making fun of anything or undermining anyone’s beliefs even though I’m an atheist. I’m genuinely curious.
Anything that could be interpreted as making fun of it is nought but a joke and is not meant with harmful intent.
1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
I call bullshit. Though, thinking about it for a second, I suppose this could just be the big bang or some other sort of world-creating affair science would agree with. (Though I don’t subscribe to the big bang either, so what do I know, eh?)
Something else I notice is the lack of capitalisation on earth. So just the ground or the entire planet?
1:2 Now the earth was without shape and empty, and darkness was over the surface of the watery deep, but the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the water.
Isn’t the earth without shape and, most notably, empty? So where did the water come from? Does this make water one of those things, like the number zero, which are things that aren’t things? Or is watery merely a description of the deep?
I’m confused.
1:6 God said, “Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters and let it separate water from water.
What? Seperate water from water? What?
1:7 So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. It was so.
What?
1:8 God called the expanse “sky.” There was evening, and there was morning, a second day.
What, like clouds? What?
1:9 God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place and let dry ground appear.” It was so.
Water.. doesn’t work like that. I think.
1:10 God called the dry ground “land” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” God saw that it was good.
What about rivers? Oceans? What about bits of water that’re landlocked? Was this process random?
1:14 God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them be signs to indicate seasons and days and years,
I thought the difference between day and night was already defined and wonder how far up the ‘above’ part of the water’s gone.
1:16 God made two great lights – the greater light to rule over the day and the lesser light to rule over the night. He made the stars also.
The.. the Moon isn’t a light. But then, I suppose that’s the nth century BC for ya, right?
1:19 There was evening, and there was morning, a fourth day.
I suddenly find myself wondering what time zone these evenings, mornings and days were taken note of from. Or from what angle god was looking upon the earth.
You know what I mean.
1:26 Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.”
1:27 God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.
Hm. So what’s the point of male nipples? And wasn’t the female human a later addition after Adam got lonely? And what’s the female form based on, then, anyway? Where did the idea for breasts or female genitalia come from?
Reposted from the old blog. A continuation is sadly unlikely.
